my life, recently is a kind of contradiction in simply almost everything

how does it feel to keep a secret ?

an acquaintance of mine recently told me a story about a member of her family.  She asked me to help her daughter by doing a particular thing.  It wasn’t a very difficult thing . The problem is : you are in someways had a similar experience with the daughter . And you yourself are not sure whether you can avoid falling to the same hole

Quite contradictive, to prevent someone doing something when you are not really sure whether you are capable enough to avoid the same thing.

Next, I lately been in a total solitude . It’s like I’m avoiding almost everybody . While I keep telling myself that it’s OK, the fact is it’s definitely not okay .  I remember back then I always loved to hang out or met people . I like to give everyone a big smile and how I can cheer the others.

But now I feel like being in a total gloom.  I cannot give the big smile like I used to . Most of my smiles are thin smiles. It’s pathetic, though.

Maybe, I need to come back to those times.  I guess I have this kind of voice in my head : You need socializing again , you need refreshment, maybe you have to start believing in people again .

well, maybe. maybe.


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